More Answers... (11/30/25 Newsletter): When Bad News Shows Up at Work

Hi Everyone, 

Here's your Sunday Evening "More Answers..." to help you head into the work week-- remember, you can see previous newsletters at askchrista.com/MoreAnswers !

Tonight’s topic?  Managing unexpected (BIG!) setbacks at work. 

Despite our best plans, efforts, and outcomes, things will go sideways at work. Maybe an investor backs out of a funding plan. Maybe a big client chooses someone else, even though they love working with you. Maybe a clinical trial only meets half its endpoints or a software release hits multiple, unexpected snags even with proper testing.

Any time we receive unexpected news, especially news that might create a big shift in work, workload, or employment status, it hits hard. It triggers disappointment, worry, even doubt. 

And how you respond in that moment, not just for your own well-being but also for your team's wellbeing and everyone's future, matters. A lot.

Managing the Shock: Emotional Regulation Meets Reality

When bad news hits, the stress isn’t just mental. Your body feels it (mine shows up in my cheeks and my ears-- they burn up!!), your mood dips, your thoughts spiral. Most times your throat constricts and your posture changes, too. 

According to Affective Events Theory (AET), our emotional reactions to workplace events, both good and bad, and also our moods deeply influence our job satisfaction, performance, and long-term engagement (Weiss & Cropanzano, 1996).

Most are afraid their reactions won't be professional, and it's true that professional behavior matters, but so, too, does the need for us to process in the moment. Here are some ways to find balance:

• Pause and Breathe: Before you react or respond, take 15-30 seconds of slow, deep breathing. Yes-- even if you have eyes on you waiting for your answer or response, it's OK to take a few seconds to get some oxygen flowing as you physically ground yourself into a less stressful (and less reactive) place. Breathing in this way calms your nervous system and gives your thinking brain a means to respond instead of react. There is a difference.

• Name what you feel: Naming your emotions reduces their intensity and helps you think more clearly (Lieberman et al., 2007). Even a quiet internal “I feel disappointed” or “I feel overwhelmed” activates brain regions associated with regulation.

• Reframe the event: By reframing the event, you are often more likely to accept it for what it is (Johnstone & Feeney, 2015). "Reframing" means you are being honest about what the setback may do for you and the team without demeaning, diminishing, or disregarding how difficult the actual event might be. "Our client said over and over again how much they loved working with us; the truth is, they went with the other company because we aren't big enough for their growing needs yet. They will serve as a reference going forward, and that puts us in good position as we, too, grow."

• Stabilize your body before you stabilize others: This is like putting your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Sometimes breathing doesn't have the immediate effect we need in the moment, and a reset signal like, "I'm going to need a few minutes to process this news" is the best we can do. If you can, MOVE (Troy et al., 1028). Take a walk, step outside the room and pace, do what you need to reset with settling your body as a focal point.

• Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Emotion regulation is not about becoming stone. It is about managing (regulating!) your feelings, not denying them completely. Feeling disappointment or sadness doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. The "regulation" piece is related to the context of your surroundings.

So, let's talk about emotional regulation...

The Balance of Regulation with Being Human

Emotion regulation isn't about being a robot, although there have been MANY times when I wish it did!! I tend to be very passionate about what I work on, and when you lead perceived-impossible clutch plays, you have to put everything you have to offer into it. It's hard to regulate emotions when setbacks occur in those situations because you are already tired, depleted, and strung out (after all, "clutch plays" are, by definition, about as stressful as they get to execute!)

Bad news hurts more when you care, but regulating your emotions doesn't mean pretending you aren't affected or that you feel nothing. It means managing your feelings in a way that protects your well-being and respects the people around you.

As noted above with Affective Events Theory (AET), research shows that acknowledging emotions is tied to healthier relationships, more trust, and more sustainable performance (Weiss & Cropanzano, 1996).

Here are some practical ways to stay balanced as a condensed list to what I mentioned in the last section:

• Breathe, and give yourself a moment before speaking.
• Share honest information after you feel grounded (recognizing others are on a timeline, so sharing information can't take forever!).
• Seek support from colleagues or mentors who help you think clearly.
• Practice self-compassion, which is shown to buffer stress and improve coping (Neff & Germer, 2013).

Being human is part of being effective. It demonstrates a relatability that draws people in, enables trust, and creates a safe space for others to follow your lead, but only when it's done in the context of professionalism. You can find that balance!!

BOOSTER FOR YOUR WEEK!!!  

Nina Nesdoly focuses on how to best manage stress in the workplace with the goal of preventing burn-out. She emphasizes the importance of reducing stress as a starting point and following three tips: "let tension out, limit information in, and lower the barrier to entry."

While this might not always help in the seconds after hearing bad news at work, they are certainly worth practicing throughout our days. Check out her TEDx talk "How to Relieve Stress When You're Overwhelmed."

And remember, if you have a business challenge or workplace issue... Ask Christa! 

REFERENCES

Johnstone, T., & Feeney, J. (2015). Emotion regulation in the workplace: A new conceptualization and research agenda. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 88(2), 281–301.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.

Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44.

Troy, A. S., Shallcross, A. J., & Mauss, I. B. (2018). A person-by-situation approach to emotion regulation: Cognitive reappraisal can either help or hurt depending on the context. Psychological Science, 24(12), 2505–2514.

Weiss, H. M., & Cropanzano, R. (1996). Affective events theory: A theoretical discussion of the structure, causes, and consequences of affective experiences at work. Research in Organizational Behavior, 18, 1–74.