More Answers... (04/01/26 Newsletter): Insults at Work Are No Joke
Hi Everyone,
Here are More Answers... to help you head into the work week. Remember, you can see previous newsletters at askchrista.com/MoreAnswers.
Today’s topic: Insults at Work Are No Joke
(Yeah, I know, I know... hah. hah. April Fool's Day. Hah. Hah.)
The exact origins of April Fools Day unknown. The History Channel points to a few historical events, such as the changes from the Julian Calendar (March/April start of the new year) to the Gregorian Calendar (January start of the new year), Hilaria as a festival in Rome, and even food-gathering traditions.
Whatever the start, April Fool's Day has become the signature day for "pulling pranks" on others, although the gamet is wide: some simply run puns and make funny jokes all day, and others craft an elaborate and complex ruse to fool others.
And that broad spectrum is an important one to consider, because on one end it's easy laughs for everyone, and on the other end, it can be a deeply humiliating experience where someone is tricked to believe something and is, quite literally, made a fool of.
Intent for Harm Isn't Funny
Focusing on the latter part of the spectrum, where fooling people feels the funniest to the person who did the fooling (and I'm not talking about fun, intricate pranks-- I'm talking about the ones intended to belittle and humiliate someone in public), I point to the "Oh, relax, it was only a joke" excuse for insults at work, especially when it's from a boss who has no business hurling insults at anyone, much less deflecting accountability for an honest apology by suddenly claiming "it was a joke" if it doesn't land right.
But jokes are supposed to be funny to more than the person doing the joking.
And the worser line that sometimes follows? "You have no senes of humor."
There are so many problems with this scenario, from the fact that insults don't belong in work to begin with, to the fact that employees have higher expectations for management behavior (sorry, managers, but if you're getting the position, you're getting the expectations, too).
When Stress is High, Humor Isn't Easy
There's also the reality that here in the USA, more employees are feeling a significant amount of stress in the workplace these days (American Psychological Association, 2023), companies correct bad strategies and short-term financial dips through layoffs (creating instability and fear of chronic uncertainty in the workplace), and the public sees brute force being rewarded faster than clever influence, at least most days.
Oh right, and there's the issue with a primary function of management: to enable, pave a way for, support, and create an environment for employees to do their best each day.
This doesn't mean coddling or spoon-feeding them easy days all the time. It actually means the opposite: a big part of your role is to offer a workplace where it's up to THEM to do their best each day, without hindrance of unclear expectations, poor or no tools to do their job, office politics that disable an appropriate debate or moments of listening (especially while solving problems)...
... and yes, concern about whether they'll be insulted, fooled, tricked, or made fun of when the first consequence of pushing back is "it was just a joke," and the reinforcement after that (just to be sure you never call out an insult again) is, "you have no sense of humor."
And When Employees Are on Edge, Their Performance Is, Too
Now I ask: Who wants to work in a place where you might be hurled an insult any time of the day? Because if the managers are doing it, at some point team mates and peers will, too. Let's face it, most people showing up for work simply what to get their work done, and if they're fortunate enough to work with good people, they'll enjoy the company, commiseration, and connection of good co-workers, too.
But when people fear embarrassment or negative consequences to any action, they hold back. They won't speak up as much, hence they will contribute less. They're interest-- especially if they're already on edge-- is firstly to protect themselves, not focus on doing the best they can do. After all, if they do their best, will that be the next target for an insult? (yeah, I know... we've all been there)
(that was my em-dash up there, btw, not AI...)
And when the workplace feels on edge and incivility arises, even at low levels, studies demonstrate a clear correlation to reduced job satisfaction and job performance over time (Andersson & Pearson, 1999).
So on this April Fool's Day, if you're the prankster at work, consider your intent of the "fooling," then adjust your pace, timing, and tone so you aren't adding to the bad stuff, but elevating to create some good stuff.
(especially if you're a manager...)
Booster for the Week!
One of my favorite communication experts is Jefferson Fisher, Esq. I've been following him for many years, and he's become quite popular over the last 3-4 due to his practical advice, humble nature, kind and gentle disposition, and absolute motivation to help people navigate some of the most stressful situations with others: disrespectful behavior, put-downs, insults, etc.
For your booster, I'm offering his quick hit on How to Handle an Insult.
(it also perfectly offers what Jefferson is all about... and when you listen, you'll call him by his first name, too...)
Enjoy!!
With kindness,
Christa
(Helpful? Interesting? Please feel free to forward and invite others to subscribe at askchrista.com/newsletter.)
References
American Psychological Association. (2023). Work in America survey: Workplace stress and well-being. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/work-in-america/2023-workplace-health-well-being
Andersson, L. M., & Pearson, C. M. (1999). Tit for tat? The spiraling effect of incivility in the workplace. Academy of Management Review, 24(3), 452–471. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.1999.2202131
(remember: most public libraries in the USA offer access to academic papers; however, if yours does not, then Google these papers to see where they are listed, how you can learn more about them, and how you can find similar papers to learn more about conflict management and conflict resolution in the workplace)
